Like this:

When I was around 4 years old, my favorite toy in the whole world was my walking tortoise. It was the kind of toy where you pull on the string and when you let go, it starts walking by itself. At that time, I found that toy more amusing than TV.

But my affairs with tortoise doesn’t end there, when I was small I could always hear my family, by brother especially referring to me as a tortoise. Because besides the fact that I was an overweight little girl, I was lazy and I move at a fairly slow pace.

I’ve lived with that analogy for as long as I could remember. But just lately I found out the real analogy of a tortoise, and that is someone who is other than slow-moving, is also facing a physical or personal challenge that limits themselves.

Lately, I have been feeling indeed like a tortoise.
I wasn’t sure why I feel this way but I just keep seeing that recurring image of myself when I was 4 playing with my toys, and my brother yells out “Hurry up tortoise!”

Well, here’s what I found on http://www.beingatortoise.com :

People who are ‘Tortoises’ are:

1. Those with low energy, either naturally or because of a medical condition

I am being lazy lately. I don’t think it’s because of my medical condition, but I have gained some pounds over the last month. And of course, my exercise routine have become almost non-existent.

2. Those who are trying to accomplish more than they have time for

Full time job, yes. But lately I have been applying for a part time job and volunteer work as well as trying to plan my own future business, learning to bake without even baking and spending my usual days playing the Sims Social on facebook.

3. Those who have a naturally slow, contemplative rhythm

Well, I’m guessing that’s true since the beginning of my entry.

4. Creative types who need quiet time to connect with their Muse

I have not had any quiet time ever since I moved back with my parents.

5. Those with lots of ideas and interests who don’t know what to do first and often end up becoming overwhelmed and doing little

Yes… Too many ideas overflowing on this that and even useless things like hmm.. what if I open up my own online shop and sell myself? God… Somebody give me a bucket to put them in.

6. Those who are easily distracted or find it hard to focus

What? Me? Wait… What were we talking about?

7. Those with any kind of physical, mental or emotional challenge

Physical? Isn’t that the same thing as number 1? I have no emotions. I have decided to erase that from my mentally challenged self consciousness.

8. “Highly sensitive people”

I disagree. I am not highly sensitive at all. Except for when my boyfriend calls me late and not at a certain time then I start throwing a fit. But other than that, I’m fine.

9. Those who are slowing down because of age or shifting priorities

No way, I’m still 26! …yet turning 27… And remind me exactly what am I doing with my life right now?

10. Those who don’t feel they’re living up to their potential

Ouch! that one took the bullet.

Yes. Perhaps lately I have been feeling a little out of pace. Like I am not living my full potential. Why? Maybe it’s because I’ve been seeing my friends and colleagues knowing where they are actually heading in their life and I felt somehow inadequate. I felt like I am misled to a certain direction.

But something actually opened my eyes yesterday, when my friend Nenez sent me link on Steve Jobs’ (RIP) speech in Stanford University. It took me while to read it, so I watched it and listened to it instead.

Here’s Steve Jobs’ youtube video.

I would like to quote when he said:

“You can’t connect the dots looking forward; you can only connect them looking backwards. So you have to trust that the dots will somehow connect in your future. You have to trust in something — your gut, destiny, life, karma, whatever.”

That quote made quite an impression on me.
Because here I am even though I am not looking back, I keep looking forward. I keep asking myself, what am I gonna do with my life, what am I gonna be 5 years from now? And you know what, sometimes looking forward is not the best remedy to fix everything.

I want to refer to the classic tale of “The Tortoise and the Hare.”
If I was a tortoise, and then I see my friends as hares, at a glance people would just start feeling sorry for the tortoise.  Even though, maybe people don’t see me as that, I sometimes see myself as that, and then I start feeling sorry for myself. More than anyone else would.

And then I realized, how stupid I am for actually thinking that way.

Everyone knows that the Tortoise, no matter how slow, can achieve his goals by simply taking one step after another. The tortoise didn’t care what others think. People may try to underestimate him and saying that he can’t reach the finish line.

But he did.

The tortoise reached the finish line.

In short, I would like to say to all the ‘so called humasn tortoise’ living in the world that we are a work in progress, and no matter how hard it is right now, sometimes we just have to sit back and enjoy the journey. Just because our pace is different from the mainstream and what’s expected, it doesn’t make us a loser.

So. We just keep moving forward, and we’ll get there before we know it.

And in conclusion I would also like to quote Mr. Jobs again:

“ Sometimes life hits you in the head with a brick. Don’t lose faith.”

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