And the confusion continues… my most galau post


Life is about the decisions you make. However, no matter what your decision is, in the end we can’t walk out from other people who needs you. Life is not always about living for yourself, but sometimes it is living for other people as well. No matter how hard we try, in the end it is really up to God to decide our paths. And our decision has and always will be our own leap of faith. Deciding something, and hoping that no matter what struggles it takes you to, you will always end up where you want to be. Life is full of opportunities. It really is. And these opportunities aren’t hard to find. However, deciding between opportunities are hard. What seems to be the best decision for other people might be a decision you just have to compromise with. Living, making ends meet.

Sometimes I wish I was ordinary, but I know I am not. Sometimes I wish I was more simple, but I know I never will be. I wish I wasn’t a dreamer trying to constantly search for something, but that’s just not me. I wish I was a person who could openly accept the things in front of me, but I’m not. Maybe I’m ungrateful, I know many think of me like that. Why is it that I cannot accept the thing that is right in front of me? Why is it that I always go out of my way to defy everything that’s in front of me? Why can’t I just settle? Why can’t I have a simpler dream? Why do I always complicate things? Why do I always complicate myself?

The truth is, as I was searching for the answer of why I always leave. Why do I always leave?

Maybe, it is because there is nothing keeping me here. But in fact, there are things that should keep me here yet at the same time I always feel like these things were not as important as finding my own purpose in life. Have I become the most egocentric person in the world? I want something, yet in the end is it really what I want? Or am I just trying to find a reason to escape or run away?


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